I really do not understand how some people's library cards get so filthy. You would think, that for most people, you keep your library card in your wallet and remove it when you want to check out books, then put it back. How does it get dirty? I mean, people hand me cards that are literally covered in dirt and grime. What are they doing with them?
I'm not a huge germaphobe or anything, but it's just gross. I don't want to touch your filth-encrusted library card.

No madam, I will not just "pop down" to your house after we close to deliver you some parking vouchers. No madam I will not walk down the icy paths in the dark to a random house with unknown occupants because you can't be bothered to walk in.

No madam, even though you are retired I will not open the library during the Christmas holidays so you can stroll in and buy a parking voucher.

Yes I will bend the rules for you if you are prefpared not to yell at me. No madam, I wil end the conversation now. You can complain all you want there are no "proper managers " around I'm all you've got.

You pulled that guilt trip on the library assistant, but that shit don't work on me. Get your daughter to do it or pay for her own fucking parking.

Moron with the barbiche. My hearing can still detect low frequency noise that is muttered under one's breath. Keep your opinion about me to yourself. Maybe you'll enjoy being assisted with your avid DVD borrowing habit by taking your selection of movies to somebody else. I've tolerated your attitude toward me long enough. As far as I'm concerned you can take your videos and shove them up your ass.

Dear good library patrons,
It's been my pleasure helping you and I promise you are getting the best  people we can offer to work the desk up here.

Dear Mofos:

You all are the most entitled, ignorant, and illiterate group of people, beyond what I would have thought possible.  I am very excited about this back office job just because I don't want to deal with you.

It is no longer my job to babysit your idiotic selves while you blow two hours every day of your life on MySpace (and, about that- seriously it's almost 2010)

It is no longer my job to get cursed out for expecting a 17 yr old to be responsible enough to have either their library card, id, memorize your number or put in your damn phone like the smart kids do.

I no longer have throw creepy- ass old guys out of the teen section for looking at American Cheerleader with their hand down their pants.

Get a job, read a book, get a life and go the fuck to school.

And one last thing motherfuckers: It's Li-brar-y not Li-bery,  you can ask me a question not axe me a question, and if you don't like the fact that we have rules I'll give  you fucking refund on your way out the door : it's not like any of you all pay taxes anyhow.

We haven't seen one of our more annoying mofos lately, and I think we now know why:

The following indictments have been handed up by a (sort of Central NJ) County grand jury:

J_Mofo B_Mofo, 59, of M_town, indicted on charges of attempted theft by deception and uttering a forged document in B_town between April 7 and May 6.

i_hope_that
For many of us, the holidays can be kind of rough. If you're searching for a network of understanding friends, this ultra-nurturing community encourages you to express your heartfelt wishes and offer other members encouragement and acceptance. Not for the terminally snarky or emotionally-challenged, this is a good-spirited place to lend comfort and support.

diygifts
Feeling crafty? If you've got a few last folks on your holiday gift list, this is a great place to seed your creativity and generosity. You'll also discover wonderful DIY tips to decorate your home and entertain guests. Offering a no-frills-no-skills attitude that welcomes the cash-challenged and arts-phobic, you're sure to get ideas and make friends in the process.

cooking_club
A fun and friendly community dedicated to those who love to cook, whether you're a meat-and-potatoes type, an aspiring gourmand, and/or a vegan. In search of a brilliant dish to use up those weekly leftovers? Post your ingredients and you'll be whipping up a feast by dinner. You can also share favorite recipes. For Type A chefs, you can spice up your culinary repertoire with exciting cooking challenges.

After reading through various posts, this school seems to not be regarded very highly. Some even refer to it as the "diploma mill" of MLS degrees. I see that it is ALA approved and ranked in the top 22. There are a lot of other programs that I see that are ALA approved, but not even ranked.

Is this program not taken seriously in the "working world", especially academic libraries, or just by this board? I would appreciate any thoughts/experiences.

And I knew this would happen, too....

Greetings from the Northeast, in a spot where we started to get snow at about 1:15. So nice to not have to be the "in-charge" person, but really crappy to have it be the worst, spineless, can't handle confrontation, co-irker who IS the in-charge person by virtue of seniority.

And how dare you go off on me just because you can't make a fucking decision on whether or not to close. And how exactly is that I'm NOT helping you with the emergency closing stuff when I've just picked up the goddamn paper list and said, "Let me know what you want me to do and I'll do it"

And the kicker, you start to almost CRY ("...there's no crying in Libraries!") because I suggested that your next call to the Director on the cell phone might be better off done in the back offices because the last one got a little loud!

Piss off! I detest being on desk with you at all times.

Do not ever name names in this community. Ever. Not even if you think there's a good reason, or if it's to demonstrate someone else's bad behavior.

We've had people flamed, and worse, fired, when real names were used. In addition, you never know who's a member here, and they may find themselves reading all about ... themselves.

I mean, what's its mission? The statement of purpose I make out is admirably brief: the community is for anyone who's ever felt like saying motherfucker in a library situation, and is open to all. The mission statement does not seem to me to spell out what can or cannot be said in a post or a comment, within normal bounds of civility. Is this right?

stepstomarrow
When granddaughter, Jada, was born with leukemia, a donor-match was located and Jada made a miraculous recovery. In honor of her grandaughter's health, Jeanna has decided to walk across the country (in the dead of winter) to raise awareness and build support for the bone marrow registry (all that's required is a cheek swab). Follow Jeanna's remarkable journey as she travels the United States by foot.

have you ever made up a fake name for yourself at work, especially when dealing with creepos and weirdos? I wish I could tape over my real name on my tag with a "work alias." One of my coworkers said that she had one picked out in advance: Mabel.

Please don't snap at me for interrupting your work when I'm telling you that your phone call is on the line. You're the one who told them to call here. You're the one who told me to get you when they called. So you have no right to get upset when I have to interrupt my work to get you so you can answer the phone.

Lord help the part timers... LOL!

Seriously though, I'm honored that the Powers That Be entrust me with this duty, but I'm also scared shitless.

My first task as Supervisor was to create the schedule for next term. There wasn't much training involved... just... here's the template, here's a list of the student's availablity, have fun. I whipped up a draft in two days and was delighted that my supervisor approved it. There are some gaps that need filled though.

So the Head of Circulation wants me to find one or two more part-timers (students) to put on the schedule for next term. Which means I have to go thru a stack of applications and contact them and set up an interview and well.... interview them. Heh.

I've never interviewed anyone in my life. Hell, I've never been a Supervisor before.

So I have two interviews set up so far.

I don't know who'll be more nervous... them or me! O_o

Any advice?

A patron waited in the checkout line to come up to me with an open book and say, "Go ahead, read the rest of this chapter. It's unbelievable."

Me: I'm sorry sir, but I'm working and I have to check people out, including those who are waiting in line behind you.

Patron: Just read it! It's only a couple pages. It totally proves that everything that is wrong with society is because of Godlessness.

Me: I don't believe in God and I have a job to do.

Him: Well, that's your problem.

Thanks for peeing on our carpet!

Oh, and before I forget, thanks for pooping in the sink!

A woman standing in line to check out is unresponsive when her phone rings. It rings a really loud and annoying and shrieking ring for five full minutes.

Another patron says, "Ma'am, your phone is ringing."
And this woman says, "Oh, I'm aware, but I'm not rude enough to pick it up in the middle of the library."

Yet it's not rude to have the damn siren going off for five minutes.

LET'S FIGURE IT OUT, PEOPLE!