JUST ME

A POEM I FOUND THAT MADE ME A BIT TEARY EYED

2008-11-04T20:45:37Z

LEND ME A PUP

I will lend to you for awhile
a puppy, God said,
For you to love him while he lives
and to mourn for him when he is gone.
Maybe for twelve or fourteen years,
or maybe for two or three
But will you, till I call him back
take care of him for me?

He'll bring his charms to gladden you
and when his job is over
you'll always have his memories
as solace for your grief.

I cannot promise how long that he will stay,since all from earth return,
But there are lessons taught below
I want this pup to learn.

I've looked the whole world over
in search of teachers true
And from the folk that crowd life's land
I have chosen you.
Now will you give him all your love
Nor think the labour vain
Nor hate me when I come to take my pup back again.

I fancied that I heard them say
"Dear Lord Thy Will Be Done,"
For all the joys this pup will bring,
the risk of grief you'll run.
Will you shelter him with tenderness
Will you love him while you may
And for the happiness you'll know forever grateful stay.

But should I call him back
much sooner than you've planned
Please brave the bitter grief that comes
and try to understand.
If, by your love, you've managed
my wishes to achieve,
In memory of him that you've loved,
cherish every moment with your faithful bundle,
and know he loved you too.

-Author Unknown

It has been a while since I have posted cause so much has been going on and I just havent really felt like it. Okie...gotta run.....

Until next entry...hopefully it wont be too long from today.

BACK AT WORK

2008-08-04T14:27:59Z

Well..I got back to work today from temp disability. My foot is getting better but it still swells up from time to time. I cant wear any shoes for at least one more month. I'm wearing sneakers with slacks...*sighs* and also my air cast. Oh well....

Its strange getting back to work after all this time not working. Dont get me wrong though I am glad to be at work again. I kinda miss this place. My co-worker is on vacation for the rest of the week..I cant wait for her to get back next week...I have to ask her about those Quacker Parrots that she saw at a park not far from here. I want to go to the park and find them. But first I need to know where am I to look. And of course I am taking my camera....hopefully I'll get some nice shots. *crosses fingers*

Anyway..this weekend was one hell of a weekend that I dont wish to get into rite now. Just The Pooh with his delusions and drama. And it has me tired......

Anyway...gotta run...until next entry

MY VACATION

2008-06-17T20:29:19Z

Well...I'm back from vacation and I wish I could stay in CT. I'm just so tired of the city. I have this strong feeling that in a few years (10) I will move to CT for good. I really love that place. Anyway...I enjoyed my vacation, the Pooh and Dippity had fun. We went fishing, long drives night running (Dippity) and did a little gambling at Foxwoods. Here are some pics of Dippity in CT.....

This is where I want to live.....

As you can see Dippity had fun...I just had fun watching him run....he is a fast runner. Dippity is going to be 2 next week. That's the Pooh holding him for the shots.

*sighs* I wish I was still there.....Until next entry.....

SIGH

2008-06-05T03:11:28Z

Well I am going on vacation tomorrow. I am leaving to CT with The Pooh and Dippity. It should be nice. I'm still depressed...I've been depressed now about 2 weeks. All over Jina. But you know what...I feel a bit relief that she is finally resting. I visited her grave today and I didnt get too emotional. I just called her name and said that I loved her.

Earlier I went out to do some errans before I leave tomorrow and I just had to stop by a pet shop. I saw a little black, white and brown chihuahua. The owner let me hold her and guess what...I melted, broke down and cried. She just wagged her little tail and kissed me. It was so sweet. I wanted her right there and then. I want another dog so bad but my parents are very adamant that they dont want one. They say that it was a hard exprience and they dont want to go through it again. I agree it was hard but u know what...I would do it all over again. Dogs are the best creatures to have in your lifetime.

I really want one. A little girl that can go with me for car rides, snuggle with me on Sunday afternoons (my nap time). I really want them to say yes...shit WTF...I freakin feel like a 10yr old asking mommy and daddy for a dog. I am determined to sway them. If they dont oh well.....I'm bringing one home.

Anyway...Imma go now..I'm reading this book that I would like to finish before I leave tomorrow but I dont see it happening. I'm taking the book with me and read it when I get a chance, that is if Dippity lets me. We'll see.

Well...I'm off to sleep.

Until next entry...another day another entry....bye

PLAYING TRICKS ON ME....

2008-06-03T15:11:01Z

Okay...my brain is messing with me. Last night before I went to bed I turned off the lights in the living room and I could of sworn I heard Jina's little steps. I heard four clicks and the sound was gone. I know its my brain playing with me but for a moment I thought I heard her steps. I went to her grave yesterday after work and cried. She has a nice little grave. Its by the water where the sun sets so beautifully and its quiet. I know she is resting quietly and is at peace.

Last night my mother was bringing up the laundry and she brought up one of Jina's blankets. The last one she washed before Jina leaving. The blanket still has some of her little hairs on it.   I took the blanket and put it on the floor in her corner where she used to sleep. I dont want to throw it away. Its the only thing aside from her collar that I have of her. She will never be forgotten by my parents and myself.

I am actually considering in attaining another dog. I want a little dog, I was thinking of a Chihuahua. The house just feels so empty. My parents dont want another dog but they shold know how stubborn I am that I am going to try to get one. I saw one on the net, she is 9wks old and the most cutest thing and on top of it she does not look like Jina. I dont want a dog that looks like her. Its not good.

I'm just going to think about it for a little while. I'm going on vacation on Thursday...and I'll think about it. If I dont get this puppy I saw, which I like mostly the price...then I'll just wait. We'll see....

This is something I found on the web which I believe in it. Even if its not true, its nice to have something to think about which brings peace. This is a poem called rainbow bridge. I came across this beautiful website for people who have lost thier fur baby. Reading this gives me some kind of solace.

Rainbow Bridge
Just this side of heaven is a place called Rainbow Bridge. When an animal dies that has been especially close to someone here, that pet goes to Rainbow Bridge. There are meadows and hills for all of our special friends so they can run and play together. There is plenty of food, water and sunshine, and our friends are warm and comfortable.
All the animals that had been ill and old are restored to health and to vigor. Those who were hurt or maimed are made whole and strong again, just as we remember them in our dreams of days and times gone by. The animals are happy and content, except for one small thing; they each miss someone very special to them, someone who was left behind. They all run and play together, but the day comes when one suddenly stops and looks into the distance. Her bright eyes are intent; her eager body begins to quiver. Suddenly, she breaks from the group, flying over the green grass, faster and faster.
You have been spotted, and when you and your special friend finally meet, you cling together in joyous reunion, never to be parted again. The happy kisses rain upon your face; your hands again caress the beloved head, and you look once more into the trusting eyes of your pet, so long gone from your life but never absent from your heart.
Then you cross Rainbow Bridge together…

Until next entry...

MY FUR BABY DIED

2008-06-02T12:25:59Z

*sigh* Jina passed on last night at 7:30 in my home. It was just so hard to see her suffering and breathing her last breaths. She is finally at peace but she was a fighter all the way to the end. My parents and I cried so much yesterday. We just talked about her all day and thinking back to when she was young and how she used to be. She is still not far away...she is buried in my father's garden by the water. We will always miss her.

This morning we were listening for her little paws and expecting to see her looking at us and wagging her tail...nothing...we looked at her corner where she used to sleep...nothing....waiting to hear a bark.....nothing....

Jina...you will be missed....never forgotten....never without love. I'll see you in my dreams.

MY FUR BABY....JINA

2008-05-27T13:42:02Z

*sniffs*

Where do I begin this entry without tears? I'm sitting here at work just thinking about my fur baby Jina. She is just disappearing before my eyes. She is getting skinner and skinner as each day passes and is eating less. The way she looks at me with those eyes it just tears my heart apart. My parents and I would like for her to pass on at home but I have been thinking to myself that....its not a good idea. I think I am hurting her more than helping her. We give her food but she wont eat. God its killing me....I'm thinking of ....oh....I dont want to think of it. But I am thinking that I may have to take her to aid her in her passing. I cant see her suffering like that anymore. God I hate it. Its killing me. When I go to The Pooh's house and see Dippity I just get so sad. I sometimes take him in my arms and kiss him and hug him and wish he was Jina. It hurts so much.

I have to really think about this and talk to my parents about it. Are we really helping her or hurting her more. Jeeze I wish she could talk.

I gotta go....

I'M ACCEPTED

2008-04-16T16:36:57Z

Well...I got the email from the IMLS department and was accepted into the Scholarship Program. YAY! I'm just so happy...I cant wait to begin this degree and get it over with. I never wanted to have 2 Masters Degrees but oh well...2 is better than none. The school will send me all the info via mail, I guess I'll get all the information by next week.

On a different note....my boss' dog is very ill and I think she is putting her down today. Her dog is 17yrs old and is her loyal friend. I really really feel for her. These animals just steal your heart. My weakness is dogs. They just take my heart. I hope she will hold up today and I hope I'll see her tomorrow. My dog Jina and my boyfriend's dog Dippity are the most important part of my life. I know I will loose Jina very soon. Every day she is getting skinner and skinner and is eating less. She still has some energy but.....*sighs* Anyway...its going to be hard on me and my parents. We are preparing ourselves for that day but no matter how much you prepare you're never prepared enough.

Gotta run.....another day...another entry....

I HAVENT WRITTEN IN A WHILE

2008-04-11T20:37:30Z

*sighs* I havent posted lately. I guess I havent really felt like it. Nothing really major happening at this time. Just work, go home or go the The Pooh's house. Yesterday we went to the park with Dippity and he had so much fun. We were going to give him a bath before I went home but we just changed our minds.

I'm not going to work over time tomorrow. I just cant. I'm tired and I need a 2 day weekend. Today I just dont feel right. I feel tired and drained. I also feel like I'm coming down with something but I have no idea what. My ear was bothering me last night and this morning. Its not bothering me now. My throat feels a bit constricted and it hurts a bit but not too much.

I'm still waiting for St. John's U. to call me. I was told in 2 weeks. 2 weeks is next week lets see. If I dont get accepted into St. Johns Univ. then I just wont go to grad school this year. I cant afford school at this time. Maybe next year I'll go. Anyway...we'll see.

I cant wait to go home. Another hour and 25 min to go....*long sigh*

Until next entry...........

WENT ON MY INTERVIEW

2008-04-02T13:48:35Z

I went yesterday to my interview and I think I did ok. After I left I was thinking to myself. Damn..I should of said this or that. I should of asked this or that. Oh well...no need to worry about it now. Its done. But I am tired rite now. I woke up at 4am thinking about this. Jeeze...I have never been so worried in a while. Just that this is a big deal. Its a great University with a great reputation. We'll see in 2 weeks. If I am not accepted I just wont go to grad school this year. Its going to have to wait for a while. I just cant afford it rite now and I dont want to take out a loan.

Anyway..we'll see in 2 weeks. I am just not going to think about it at all after today. Its in God's hands now.

Gotta go...maybe I'll write later...until next entry

Writer's Block: Sick Day

2008-03-31T15:23:17Z

What is your favorite thing about being sick?

View 500 Answers

Absolutely nothing.

34 YEARS OLD TODAY

2008-03-31T13:27:30Z

Well...today is my aniversary...my B-Day. I'm 34 today. I dont have anything special planned...just work and go home. I usually dont do anything for my B-Day. It always quiet. Maybe next year when I turn 35 I may do a blow out. Then again I said that when I turned 21, 25 and 30. Did I do a blow out? Nope...nothing..nada. Lets see next year.

Anyway, I am at work now. I couldnt post anything last night since the phone lines went down. Yes I still use dial-up. I cant afford all of those things like cable, DSL or whatever is out now. It still works just fine.

Well...gotta run..until next entry.

FALLING ON MY FACE

2008-03-29T20:13:24Z

Well..I'm at work today. Working overtime...no surprize.
Anyway...I'm just so sleepy and tired. I'm falling on my face rite now. I cant wait til this day is over. Another 55 min to go. I'm not doing anything today...I was going to do laundry but to hell with it. I'm too tired and sleepy. My body isnt tired by my mind is. I'm just going to The Pooh's house tonite relax and maybe fall asleep.

Last nite we watched Transformers on DVD. I just loved that movie. The special effects were so cool. The autobots were exactly like the cartoon series. It just took me back when I was 8 years old and I watched it everyday afterschool. It was cool back then. I didnt tell The Pooh this but I watched this movie 2x before last nite. He loved it and enjoyed it and planning on watching it again maybe tomorrow.

*sighs* 6 days working is killing me. But I have to do it. Next week Friday I am off and not working overtime. I gotta get my taxes done. I havent done them and the deadline is coming up. I wish I would have done this earlier but I just didnt have the time. Oh well.....

Well...gotta run...another day another entry....

I HAVE AN INTERVIEW...YEY!

2008-03-27T14:00:19Z

Yesterday I recieved a call from St. John's U. for an interview scheduled Tues 4/1. I'm so happy that I dont know what to do with myself. See...I applied for grad school to attain my IMLS degree. This is so important. This school has a full scholarship for 2 1/2 yrs. You know whats that...no tuition for that time. This saves me so much money!! Grad school is so expensive. When I went to grad school about 7 or 8 years ago, between myself and my mother we paid my school. I took out no loans.

I so hope this goes through. *crosses fingers* I never really wanted to have 2 Masters but oh well.

I'm going to The Pooh's house tonite. I may do laundry today. I'm sure he has alot of clothes to wash, its been about 2 weeks that laundry has not been done.

Gotta run...until next entry

JUST THINKING OF MY OLD LADY

2008-03-22T20:09:17Z

I was thinking of the two dogs in my life and I just wanted to share their pictures. They are not so clear since they were taken from my cell phone.This is Jina my old lady, shes 16yrs old and still the baby. Here she is taking one of her several daytime naps. She sleeps all day and at night she paces around the house. I remember when she was young...oh was she so energetic. There was no way in stopping her. Now she just looks at you with those cloudy eyes and wags her tail. I remember in the mornings she would come to everyone's bedroom, jump on the bed and kiss you goodmorning. *sighs* I miss those morning kisses.

This character here with his head in the potatoe chip bag is Dippity. The Pooh's dog. He's 21 months old. I was eating potatoe chips and he kept barking and jumping on me. So I just gave him the bag. Note how he has his head all the way deep in the bag. There were a few crumbs inside and he just had to get to them!!! When he finished with the bag he had crumbs all over his face.

I was just thinking about these two. They are so special in each of their own ways. Dogs just steal my heart and when they take it, its theirs forever.

ANOTHER DAY

2008-03-21T16:27:31Z

Well..I'm working today overtime 10-3. I like those hours I still have the rest of the day for me. I'm at another location to cover for staff shortage. A coworker at this location asked me why was I given those hours 10-3. I explained to her that those were the hours I asked for and I have things to do this afternoon. Even if I didnt have anything to do this afternoon, why should I work til 5 or 6 when its sort of my day off.

See...she is a very strange individual. Around her you have to tread with caution. She goes and calls the union to complain about how various locations are short staffed, how people that were sched to work today called out and left some locations extremely short and how she has to be at the desk for more that 4 hours. She is not a person to be around too much. Talk to about superficial things ok....then STAY AWAY!!!

I'm looking at how she did the scheduling and in my opinion its all wrong. At my location there were occassions that we had only 2 of us and we worked it out a way that it doesnt seem that you're at a particular location for an extended period. At my location we work fairly when it comes to covering the desk. Oh well...whatever...some people just dont know how to plan properly. Another thing, okay you are short staffed then make due. Fine complain but what are you going to accomplish by complaining. Nothing...the work still has to be done.

I'm glad I am only here for a few hours and I am not near her too much. But like I say I STAY AWAY FROM HER. Something is just not right with her and I definately dont trust her.

Gotta run....until next entry.....

HELLO OUT THERE

2008-03-20T18:34:19Z

Not much going on at work at the moment. Its pretty much quiet and peaceful. My ankle still hurts a bit but the pain is subsiding as each day goes by.
    My cousing is coming from PR in a few weeks and he's really excited. This is his second time coming to NY. Last year my parents and I took him to various places in the city. But his favorite spot to be is where I live. I live by the water and you can see the whole Manhattan skyline. Its really pretty. One day I am going to take a picture of it and post it here. I love looking at it during a sunset or on a clear night. Its so pretty seeing all the city lights.   Anyway....he's really excited in coming to NY again. I'm only taking 2 days off from work to go with him and my parents into the city. It'll be fun. I'm taking my camera and taking some shots of things that I see.

   Speaking of camera...my mom bought me a digital camera for my birthday which will be in about 1 week 1/2 and I am dying to take pictures of things. See...I'm looking for a hobby that wont cost much and will please me. I used to collect comics years ago but that became expensive. I was at the comic book store every Wednesday afternoon buying comics. I spent so much money. Now I have over 200 comics in my house and I want to get rid of them. They are all well cared for in their bags and backing boards. One day I will get rid of them.

    I digress.....getting back to the camera...I hope to take pics of things and post them here on LJ. I also looked into flickr.com and snapfish.com. *sighs* Lets see.

Well..gotta run....until next entry

OKAY I WENT TO THE DOCTOR THIS MORNING

2008-03-19T20:19:43Z

Nothing is wrong with my ankle solely a pulled tendon or ligament. In either case my ankle will be fine. *sighs*
Problem and worry over. On to the more significant worries.......

OKAY I AM WORRIED

2008-03-19T02:38:22Z

Remember when I said that I fell last Thursday....well...my ankle is still a bit swollen and I am very concerned. It doesnt hurt when I walk on it but then why is it still swollen??? I have been walking on it these last few days with no problem. I'm going to go to my doctor tomorrow morning to see if he'll get it x-rayed. I hope there is nothing wrong with it. I hope my coworker gets to read this.....I will be late in the morning but I dont know how long I will be at the doctor.

Gotta run...shit I am worried now.

NOT MUCH GOING ON LATELY

2008-03-17T04:20:13Z

Well..its been a while since I posted in this journal. Not much has happend these last few days. I worked and came home. Oh one highlight was that I fell on Thursday and twisted my ankle. I dont think its broken since I can walk on it. Although my ankle is still a bit swollen. It still hurts a little when I twist it a certain way. I may have to go to the doctor.

*sighs* Not much to talk about tonite. Oh..before i forget...I didnt work on Sat. That was my first Sat off since August, it was nice being off. But you know what...I am so used to working all these days that it just felt odd being home. Oh well...

Gotta go...another day another entry

gumbylove @ 2008-03-11T11:30:00

2008-03-11T15:32:00Z

NOTHING NICE TO SAY...DONT POST!!!!

2008-03-11T15:04:33Z

Someone just posted a message on my journal which was not nice and not necessary!!! I said that I may not post on this community and now I will continue to do so. This person wrote "Thank God" that I will not post anylonger. How dumb!!

And on top of it the message was sent anonymously, he/she did not have the valor or the balls to use thier actual post name. Ha how immature. I thought people in this community were adults apparently some are children that never grew up. GROW UP!! This person had no sense and was very rude.

SOME DAY TODAY

2008-03-11T02:48:17Z

*sighs* Not much has happend today at work, only when it was close to closing. I had a little situation with someone who came in. Whatever though...I dont want to get into it again. I've been thinking about it since I got home.

Another thing that is bothering me is this community on LJ. Those people can be a bit nasty and immature. They could ask nicely about my posting not being able to be read properly. They just annoyed me today....such MOFOs. I dont think I will be posting for a while on that community. I may reply but not post for a little while. But then again I'll be over it within the next few days...we'll see.

Anyway...I'm going to bed. Going to watch the news about Gov. Spitzer and being involved with hookers or paid escorts. Thats got me curious.

Until next entry.....

WORKING ON A GLOOMY SATURDAY

2008-03-08T13:43:14Z

Well...here I am at work on a Sat. I arrived at 8:15, mind you I start at 9. I dont mind coming to work early. Honestly its a pleasure coming to work compared to where I used to work. I used to dread going to work. Every morning that I woke I used to get so upset. Now I just wake up and dont even think about it. Its cool.

*sighs* Anyway...I went to The Pooh's house last night. Nothing much we did. Just spent it in his house watching TV and playing around with Dippity. I gotta buy food for Dippity today when I leave from work. He's such a pain. He eats dog food when he wants to. But give him human food and its "no problem" for him. Oh well.

Anyway...gotta get going....until next entry.....

NOT MUCH GOING ON....

2008-03-06T02:57:13Z

*sigs* Well...nothing going on with me lately. Just work, trainings and home. No drama at the moment. Just taking life in stride.

Tomorrow I'm going to The Pooh's house and maybe do some laundry. If I dont do it tomorrow definately it will be on Friday. It has to get done. I was just thinking of my getaway in June. We may go to Mystic CT. I hope so...I just love going to this place. Its the same place I go to every year with The Pooh but I just love it there. Its so peaceful and tranquil compared to NY. Hopefully we'll get to do more things and we'll be able to leave Dippity in the room. Last year we were unable to leave him. Everytime we left the room he would bark and wimper. I hope this year will be different. If its not, then I guess he'll go everywhere with us. *sigh* I hope he will be comfortable in staying alone for a few hours.

Anyway...I'm looking forward to going to CT.

Ok then...I'm off...

Until next entry.....